Cut em loose!
I recently had a moment of discovery. Oprah likes to call them 'aha' moments. It has been coming on gradually. My children will be 8 and 11 years old this summer and I still cuddle, coddle and treat them as though they just got out of pampers. In the past month I have realized that they need more independence, responsibility and encouragement to problem solve on their own.
There have been times in the past month where I realize that as a 'Stay At Home Domestic Goddess' I have been doing too much, which does not help those around me to learn to conquer the world. Child #1 will sit down next to me and ask me to get her a glass of water. Today Child #2 put a pot of boiling water on the stove, brought me my apron and asked me to 'take over' preparing the mac-n-cheese. He will be in his room building Lego's.
I love my family and realize that I have chosen this path. I love my life, but my wake up call came this morning as I snuck out to the porch with a book for a few minutes of 'me time'. Within minutes my fat orange cat waddled up to me and began licking my hand, then rubbing against it. Dear God, I am now giving my mangy cat a bath. Will this madness never end?
There must be a 12 step program out there for me. I would love to look it up on line, but Child #2 is calling out for me to give 'Dad' a hair cut. Do not laugh, "There but for the grace of God..." Oh, never mind! On the bright side, I can start blogging more now that I won't be so 'Busy'!!!
posted by Devon @ 12:46 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
if practicing 'get it yourself, I am busy" doesn't help..you could always pretend to be in a coma for a few days..sometimes drastic measures are called for..
:)
Hi, Devon
It,s Mom !! When your were that age you were cleaning your whole room, doing your laundry, cooking your own meals, feeding the pigs, horses, rabbits and chopping the fire wood. In your free time you were begging for something to do more to help out your poor mom....
These spoiled kids need a wake up call and so do you. Give them to me for a week (kiddie boot camp)and they will be very self sufficient. Now the cat...throw him in the toilet !!!!
LOVE MOM
Marye: There will be a lot of 'you can do it yourself' comments in my future. I'll keep the coma idea in mind!
Mom: Stop, you are scaring me!
First... I would burn the macaroni.
Second, I would give dad a mohawk
and third, I would give her luke warm water with a fly floating in it.
My job here is done. They won't be asking you to help anymore and You are free to go read your book.
I remember the dawning of the truth! I thought I was a domestic goddess when in reality I was a domestic servant! Giving the children some responsibility will be good for them in the long run. I remember sarcastically giving Son number one a demonstration of the workings of a coat hanger as he seemed to think filing clothes on the floor perfectly accecptable. He then got a Saturday job in a menswear shop where he had to horror of horrors iron mens trousers ready to hang in the shop. From that day forward my ironing was no longer up to his standards! Hurrah! Son number two would go 8 weeks without changing bed linen after I decided it was no longer in my job description, that was a tough one as my sense of common decency was to give in and do it. He would only do it during school vacation, when he had 'time'. I was running a business at the time as well as the household. Now the boys share a house and the one who never changed the bed is fastidious in cooking and cleaning. I think Simon knows how to hang his clothes, he is very keen on clean clothes and always seems to be washing and ironing.
Pamela: I like the idea of doing things badly enough to get out of being asked...wonder how it would work? Might have to give that one a try.
Young At Heart: It's nice to hear that they do grow into independence!
Mine actually do have chores they set & clear the table. put away their cleaned clothes. Vacuum the stairs and the car weekly. Make their beds. Its not much, but they are only 7 & 10. It is the day to day attitude of I don't want to bother getting things for myself that I am about to put to death!
Change your name...hide everyone's clothes so they can only wear one outfit, do the same with the towels...leave boxes of cereal on the counter top, give the cat away.
Get over to my place so you can party with me...sign up for Fun Monday while you're at it.
Oh, yeah, get out of that mess!! Don't let them take you for granted. Follow all the good advice you've been given!!
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